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September 4, 2018

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(1327 unread emails in my inbox)

This could be a good summary for my life.

Which could be described right now as an image of a man swimming gaily in the sea whilst sharks circle above. Not that these sharks are people. Or menacing. They would be metaphors for responsibilities I’m trying to put off. If it was a shit political cartoon they would probably have ‘obligations’ written on them. I guess what I’m saying is; why were political cartoons in newspapers ever considered funny?

Think about THAT the next time you need a #HotTake on something.

I read this great bit from the TWO FISTED HOMEOPAPE newsletter put out by Ryan Lindsey

I’ve always defined failure in the most unhelpful ways.

Need to ask for help? Failure.

Don’t have every single student absolutely love you? Failure.

Don’t hit at least one hole-in-one at minigolf? Failure.

And the stupidest one is this, and take into account I’ve wanted to be a novelist since I was a kid, and wrote four unpublished novels a decade ago, okay…

Breaking into comics, but decide to write a novel? Failure.

Ooof. Any of you creative types out there are probably being hit in the same way I was, by how Ryan zeroes in on how we judge ourselves. Well, at least I judge myself this way. I may not be Catholic but by God I’ve got myself some of that Catholic Guilt.

But then this year has also been a conscious effort of stripping back my responsibilities, trying to have fun with friends and just letting myself live life. After all, I’m married to a wonderful woman, have had some great opportunities and despite being out of work this year through no fault of my own, was back in a well paid full-time job less than three weeks later. Especially with all the shit going on in the world at the moment, I’m really, really lucky.

So now I’ve starting to feel creative again, perhaps I’ll do something. Perhaps not. But I’m getting to the point where I need to do something, even if its just finally reading those 1327 unread emails. And I need to stop feeling guilty for not being perfect.

So go out and do something today. More importantly, finish it. Even if it’s small, or just one step of a larger plan. I managed to base 3 Deathwatch Aggressors the other day and undercoat the rest of the force. It felt good, no matter how much work is ahead of me to get them to tabletop standard.

Keep taking small steps forward and you’ll eventually get somewhere. That’s the story of the human race. It’s your story too.

Header image from here.

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