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Naughty words

July 20, 2016

Such dreamy, hate-filled eyes.

NSFW. Obviously.

Milo Yiannopoulos, a professional troll, got slapped on the wrists for being a dick and is now (ironically) claiming to be a victim. Whatever. Let’s make this all about me. I thought I would recount the best ways I’ve been insulted or threatened with death in the past by people online.

I’m also giving you, the great unwashed internet masses, tips on what not to call me in future if you want to wind me up.

Call it my gift to the world. Apart from my mere existence that is.

Things to not call me (because they don’t work)

Hack fraud

Oh, you’ve seen a Red Letter Media video too? Cool, we’re on the same page. Also, fuck off and die.


Actually, I’m a pandimensional sex god who is still figuring out quite what small little box is best to be squeezed into. Imagine me as a new incarnation of The Doctor. Only, like, sexier.


Yes? Next.


See above. Also, thank you. My sex life is has turned out pretty good because of it.

GW Apologist

A very niche subsection of the death threats here. But nah. Thanks for showing me you haven’t read anything I’ve ever written through.


Well that escalated quickly. Poe’s law indeed.


This reveals a lot more about your than it ever will me.


Not really. I suppose I lean to the left, but I have a few beliefs that would have me cast out from the intellectual left. I take it you must be an American also. Over here, left leaning fellows get called Trotskyists. But as you don’t have a left, I can’t expect you to know any better *pats head*

Cunt face

What horribly sexist language. Now shut up you twatwaffle.

In future I plan to be follow the example of those in power and be even more facetious and puerile.

Worship me mother fuckers. And by that I mean literally only those who fuck their own mums. It’s a demographic I’m cultivating so I can pretend I’m a victim when someone else calls me on my bullshit.


From → Writing

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