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Do we actually expect the cockwombles of the world to be nice?

May 17, 2016
The Wombles

Utter bellends

This is really just an excuse for me to swear a lot about the world’s tosspots.

Everytime I see a story in the the news like this I do wonder, how are we surprised still? When we see badger fiddlers like the people that article mentions, what makes us so act indignant? Why do we still care?

Whilst I’m not a fully fledged member of twatwaffles anonymous, I may be able to offer some clues. You see, looking back in history to times of great inequality, we do find stories of Kings’ and Queens’ debauchery and how it was talked about by all. It still happens today with our modern stuffed animals, that get trotted out whenever people threaten to find them irrelevant. Sorry, royals.

I mean, everything people get up to in these high flying circles people, no matter how poor, can do it far cheaper and better themselves. If only because they will be enjoying the sex, drugs and rock and roll dance music* themselves instead of wanking themselves raw over the idea of rich people doing it.

So why even care about a class of utter twats that are slowly killing the world with their despicable rectum scented ways? Especially when you can make a BDSM dungeon in the comfort of your own home for not much moolah?

Could it be the sense of transgression? Or peering over the fence at a life that seems more fulfilling because it is free from the drudgery of work and not going five minuets without being able to stick their body parts in the animal of their choice? Of being free of the dickflaps that infest your world and being able to interact with testicle ferrets that you at least know are utter, utter cunts?

Or could it be that the open pillaging of the planet is angering people who want to tear it all down to create an imaginary utopia free of capitalism, where we can all dress up in pixie wings and call ourselves Tinkerbell for the likelihood of it happening?

I’ve answered by own questions? I should shut up now? And run because I included a Disney character in the same piece as talk of Asda-price sex dungeons?

Eh, don’t worry. As always, the internet has you covered.

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Some of you came (or are coming) just for this. Sure, why not?

I’ll shut up now.

*Anyone accusing me of pandering to a more modern audience is clearly mistaken.

 

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6 Comments
  1. Oh my God! You’re killing me with laughter!!! Write more!! *cracks whip*

  2. Reblogged this on Don't Paint Like This! and commented:
    I had to reblog this article that Reece wrote because it’s just so FUNNY! Completely NSFW, mind!

  3. *I see you pandering, don’t think I don’t 😉

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  1. Naughty words | Braindroppings

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