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Matching socks

December 7, 2015

Today I made a conscious decision to wear a matching pairs of socks. That’s kind of a big deal at the moment.

See, I’m not the most organised person in life. I take things as they come and run with them. Improvising on the fly is where I enjoy myself immensity. But in the past few years I’ve come to appreciate the importance of the phrase ‘tidy home, tidy mind’ a lot more (which to the parents who raised me is probably hilarious).  Knowing that if I put something down somewhere I’ll find it there later, or that I can come home to a place that is tidy keeps me a little more happy inside.

So when things go off the rails and my mental health takes a dip those things become easier to let slide. The little bits of order like matching up socks become so easy to not bother with, to let go because you are holding back the other things that threaten to overwhelm you. That escalates to larger actions eventually whilst you keep on a face to stop the general public from knowing what you are going through.

Whatever you thought of My Bed,  at the time it struck a chord with me. What it espouses is a reflection of life I recognise. It’s life many people never experience (which I think in part is why many ridiculed it) but that doesn’t make it less valid as art.

tracey-emin-my-bed

My Bed by Tracey Emin

Now I’m in a place of getting used to calling my home ‘safe’ once more, I can look back on the events that led to this point and ponder over what happened and how I’m going to move on from it.

To do that I’m  probably going to have commit the worst blogger sin of all, which is write self indulgently for a week or so’s worth of posts to get some of the stress out. As some who enjoys writing and is a lover of words it’s how I communicate best.

Just this once though, I’ll let pictures do the talking. This is My Bed as of this week when everything finally ended.

WP_20151203_001

But so the next few weeks don’t tip over into a self indulgent wallowing in what got me to this state, I’m going to make this picture a declaration. This photo isn’t saying ‘poor me’. This picture is saying ‘someone destructive helped cause this – and I’m mad as hell’.

I’m getting past it.

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From → Life

One Comment
  1. I’m loving… The dalek!

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