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Talking of endings…

November 20, 2015

A few days ago I reposted a piece from one of my favorite blogs out there; a discussion on the myth that we deserve definitive endings or that they even exist. You can probably scroll down if you are reading this on this blogs front page and read it right now if you want. It’s far more profound than anything I will ever achieve. But I do want to discuss one definitive ending. Death.

It’s on my mind because yesterday I found out that a friend of mine died. Without going too much into details (because in a time of mourning, to do that would be heinous) she passed away after a battle with cancer that was only picked up because of another suspected health problem.

I think it was more shock than anything else. She was younger than me. Which, given that I’m just over the halfway mark of my 20’s means she died young. Far too young. Last time I spoke to her there was talk of her being allowed out hospital as she was doing so well.

My mind wants to go two ways with this. It could take the way of benediction, that says she lives on in all who knew her. That it is how she survives, in all that made up her character good and ill and how it can inspire our own lives. The other is to ask why this has hit me so hard in the wake of the Paris attacks this past week, which could then dovetail into the nature of empathy and having how different things affect us and the nature of selfishness etc etc fill in the self infected blog wankery etc . Both feel false. Neither thoughts change that a young woman has died. For her, there is an end. It’s come and gone.

I want to celebrate the life of a someone who I, in the complicated way humans do, cared deeply for at times and was thoroughly annoyed by at others. Until I figure out how to that, all I can do is list what she was.

Her name was Rhiannon. She was an unabashed geek and slight wheeler-deeler. She had an accent that was clearly from Rochdale, but softened at times with slight Welsh inflections at the end of her words. She really couldn’t organise to save toffee, but she seemed to have a way of making things work out anyway. She had family, friends and a great interest in the X-men Wolverine. She was human. She will be with me and others forever.

I miss her.

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