Updates soon. For now, this is how I’m faring with vs my new schedule.
Just saying, when you try to defend starving kids being ok and descend to personal attacks, you’ve lost the argument. As Edwina Currie clearly did.
Originally posted on A GIRL CALLED JACK:
It’s 9 o clock on Tuesday, the morning after the night before, where we were both on a panel on The Big Benefits Row on Channel 5. I haven’t watched it back, I was there, and know what I look like when I’m angry.
I need to get this out – because it’s everything I wanted to say last night but couldn’t, as I kept being rudely shouted over by you. Honestly, my three year old behaves better than that. At least he knows that when Mummy does her ‘will you just be QUIET and LISTEN to me’ then the best thing to do is to stop running your mouth and let Mummy say her piece.
A repost of a review I did over at Nerditis of a book called Dragons of Jupiter.
As I wasn’t able to read it nearly as fast as I wanted to, its only fair I share my review as much as I can, in the hope that people buy such a great book. Seriously, its really good. Better than Abnett!
Greetings etc and welcome to a new year. Feel refreshed yet?
Honestly, I feel knackered. I start a new job on Monday that I’m not sure how long I will be able to keep doing, as I’m moving with my partner to a place that means I would have to commute 2 hours a day each way to get to at £20 a day. Now if I was on 20K+, maybe. But as I’m not, fuck that. Will teach me for not sticking with uni I suppose.
But anyway, between frantic house hunting and viewing (with those fun 2 travel times that turn into 4 with Christmas time trains), me writing more than ever and trying to adjust to only having 4 hours sleep so I can work, write and find a new job, its been hectic. But I’m hopeful things will improve this year.
For a start, its time to start tacking my social anxiety, which means in crowds of more than 3 people I feel lost and disorientated without a prop of some sort and that means some days I can’t answer the phone.
Its time to get writing on track. I had a wonderful last half of 2013, what with being able to write for The Shell Case, Alywn Ash, Project Torchwood, Nerditis. Its been even better over at The Cult Den, where I got to make lots of great friends and somehow got made an editor. Theres also a boardgame I’m helping design and a book to write.
But I’ve also been slack. Thats been proved by me not overhauling the look of this place. Perhaps if I pay it enough attention, I can do just that.
That much to do and have a life too? I think its possible with proper planning.
So now its time to organise properly. Opportunities are arising this year that I would be a fool to miss out on. I’ll need to work really hard and push myself to do even better than I have ever done.
I always loved a challenge.
May 2014 be the best year yet.
Just click the link. It will take you 5 minuets and teach you a whole lot. Perhaps you may even understand what is meant by the term Rape Culture if you don’t understand it already. Obviously, this means the game comes with Trigger Warnings for some, and the developer has pointed them out before you even click the start button for those who need to know to stop panic attacks or worse.
If people have problems with the ending or the nature of the gameplay, then read this post by the game developer. It will clear up a lot and stop you acting like a dick at the same time.
More than anything, this shows just how video games can offer unique experiences that can change how you perceive the world, using narratives that aren’t preachy in the way that other media tends to fall into a lot these days.
But most importantly, please just play it.
I’ve no idea why, but christmas really depresses me. Well, thats a lie. But short of having the money to live independently, ship my far away friends and family to live nearby me and live a hermit like existence away from capitalism’s embraces, I’m unlikely ever to enjoy christmas*. Its been such a good year too.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a kid I loved the time. But I was also stupid and hadn’t cottoned onto the fact that my family was massively dysfunctional. My Dad throwing the christmas stuff at the wall behind me whilst I cowered in terror defused me of that notion long before I hit secondary school. So after the concept of ‘family time’ being shattered into tiny pieces, sheer materialism was never enough to really fill the void**, especially when as you get older its awkward to ask your folks for sex toys or a form of entertainment they barely comprehend***.
So as I got older and became far more aware of just how much suffering is involved in getting that £20 bit of plastic into a box for christmas, I just abandoned it and rejected the event. I was such a pretentious shite at 6th form I dressed up as a commodified Jesus and took art farty photos showing how much I loathed what I saw as a pathetic time of year.
Still, I do try and make the effort for people who like christmas. I really do, as I understand that it means a great deal to some people. Its just that at this time of year I’m more aware than any other just how much of a vacuous hole exists inside of me and how nothing will ever fill it. The closest to happiness I’ve found is a low key christmas I spent a few years with friends, where it was just hanging out for a few days. But now they live half a country away and living as a peasant probably wouldn’t impress the other half, who likes to know where things like money for rent, bills etc, will be coming from.
As always, this is a ramble, but its especially poignant for me because christmas no longer has a purpose.
By strip mining a religious event for commercial use, we’ve taken a time of the year that used to mean something to at least some people and replaced it with a glowing effigy screaming for more and more tribute to be thrown upon it in the name of capitalism.
I think many people also feel this too, but the all consuming nature of the media and marketing frenzy that starts earlier and earlier each year means we feel compelled to participate, all whilst screaming in our heads for release.
*Yes, I’m aware of the humour that can be gained from realising that you have to pay to get yourself out of the system of capitalism.
**In that respect, despite their problems, my parents raised me well.
***To this day, almost every gaming console is a ‘Nintendo’ due to our first console being an N64. It wasn’t through lack of trying – they just didn’t have much interest in it.